Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety: How to Neutralise Negative ‘What If’ Thoughts

It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon and you’re gazing blankly at the blue sky, when suddenly you remember you have to give a presentation at work on Monday. Immediately, your mind starts spiralling out of control. What if I’m not prepared? What if I forget what to say? What if the boss doesn’t like my work? If you find yourself often lost in ‘what if’ thoughts like these, it’s easy to become disconnected from reality. But overcoming anticipatory anxiety is entirely possible with the right mental exercises. 

In this article, we’ll share five strategies for challenging anxious thoughts so you can live more actively in the present moment, including:

• Allowing yourself to imagine the worst case scenario 

• Gaining awareness that you might be catastrophizing 

• Trying the, “The story I’m telling myself is…” reflection

• Asking yourself, “What is here right now?” 

• Practicing heart coherence to calm the nervous system

Let’s get you one step closer to overcoming your anticipatory anxiety. 

1. Allow yourself to imagine the worst-case scenario 

Overcoming anticipatory anxiety caused by "what if" thoughts begins with embracing rather than resisting your fears. Start by setting a timer for 2 to 3 minutes. During this time, allow yourself to fully engage with the thought of your worst-case scenario actually unfolding. Write down everything you can do to address the situation: solutions, damage control measures, and ways to improve the outcome. 

This exercise taps into your innate resilience and creativity in problem-solving. By directly confronting these fears, you realize that you have the capabilities to handle even the toughest situations, which shifts your mindset from catastrophizing to solution-oriented thinking. 

2. Gain awareness that you may be catastrophizing 

Catastrophizing is when you assume the worst will happen or fixate on potential difficulties, turning any worry into a major disaster in your mind. This often leads to more anxiety and stress. 

Recognizing when you’re catastrophizing is a "name it to tame it" strategy. By identifying your thought pattern, you can begin to gain control over it. Naming it not only demystifies the experience but also reminds you that it is a common human behaviour, not unique to you, so you can have more self-compassion during this unpleasant experience.

3. Try saying, “The story I’m telling myself is…” 

This technique for overcoming anticipatory anxiety involves unpacking the narratives you create in your mind. Here’s how you can apply this:

• Give yourself kind attention: When you’re spiralling, begin by pausing and taking a deep breath. This simple act of focusing on your breath helps to centre yourself and brings a sense of calm.

• Articulate the story: Use the phrase, "The story I’m telling myself is..." and complete it with whatever worry or fear is currently in your mind. This step externalizes your thoughts and helps you see them as separate from your identity.

• Wait for a response or reflect: If you're in a conversation, wait for the person you’re speaking to respond. Their perspective can provide new insights or challenge your assumptions. If you’re alone, take a moment to reflect on what surfaces after stating your thoughts. Do you find clarity? Does a rebuttal form in your mind? 

By articulating these thoughts as "stories," you’ll gain the ability to see them for what they are – interpretations of your environment, not direct reports of it. This can break the cycle of negative storytelling, revealing the nuance and complexity in situations that your initial reactions might miss, and snap you out of self-spun narratives with a refreshed perspective.

4. Ask yourself, “What is here right now?” 

Challenging anxious thoughts is easier when you’re grounded in the present moment. This practice is about shifting from the realm of hypotheticals to the reality of now. Here’s how to do it:

• Pause for reflection: Begin by gently asking yourself, "What is here right now?" This question serves as an anchor, pulling your attention back to the present.

• Tune into your senses: Engage your senses to explore your immediate environment. Notice the temperature of the air on your skin, the sounds you hear, and any scents that might be present. Observe the sensations within your body—perhaps the feel of your feet on the ground or the texture of the material you're seated on.

• List your observations: Mentally or on paper, list a few things that you notice about the moment you’re in. This could be as simple as acknowledging the light filtering through a window, the steady rhythm of your breathing, or the distant hum of traffic. 

This exercise helps pivot your focus from the anxiety-inducing "what if" scenarios to the "what is" reality. By anchoring yourself in the present, you engage with the world directly around you, which often is less threatening than the scenarios imagined by your mind.

5. Practise heart coherence to calm your nervous system

Heart coherence is a concept known for enhancing positivity and calming the nervous system. The Quick Coherence Technique is a one-minute exercise that can help when you’re challenging anxious thoughts:

• Get focused: Begin by focusing your attention on your heart. Imagine your breath moving in and out of your chest. Breathe a little slower and deeper than usual to help quiet your mind.

• Activate positive feelings: Think of something that brings you joy or a sense of calm. This could be a memory of a peaceful moment, an achievement you are proud of, or simply a location that makes you feel at ease. 

• Savour the feeling: Allow this positive feeling to fill your heart and then imagine it spreading throughout your entire body, reaching every cell. Visualise this sensation of joy or calm enhancing your physical and emotional state.

Heart coherence practices like this one can enhance your decision-making and lead to more optimistic thinking simply by calming your mind. It stimulates the release of serotonin, known as the "happy hormone," which can stabilise your mood. 

Learn to Overcome Anticipatory Anxiety in My Stress Better Workshop 

Explore ways to strengthen your mindset, enhance self-awareness, and learn effective stress-response strategies in my Stress Better Workshop or keynote presentation. To secure your spot, get in touch today.