Communication is a skill we practice every day, yet we likely never master. It’s what helps us cultivate loving relationships, advocate for ourselves at work, and navigate the complex web of social interactions that define our daily lives. So what’s the key to having richer conversations and communicating more effectively? In this article, you’ll learn how to become a better communicator and make every interaction more meaningful with the practice of mindful communication. 

We’ll dive into: 

• What is mindful communication?

• Common barriers to mindful communication 

• How to become a better communicator 

What is mindful communication? 

Mindful communication means engaging with someone with your full attention, listening deeply without judgement, and responding from a place of clarity and compassion. It involves all components of communication – words, body language, and tone – and requires you to be fully present.

Common barriers to mindful communication 

Imagine sitting at a coffee shop, deep in conversation with a close friend. As they share a heartfelt story, you find yourself distracted by a passing thought about your next appointment. By the time you refocus, you've missed part of what was said and the moment of connection fades. This is common in our fast-paced world, where communication is often undermined by scattered attention. 

When was the last time your mind wandered in conversation because you:

• were dwelling on past or future events instead of listening to the present conversation?

• were planning your response while the other person was still speaking?

• were judging the validity of the other person’s opinion? 

While completely human, this behaviour is the opposite of mindfulness, which aims to anchor your mind in the present moment. Your ability to be fully present and focused on the person you’re communicating with is essential for genuine interactions – whether it’s with your partner, kids or colleagues.

How to become a better communicator 

1. Try relaxing your mind 

Think of the last time a colleague dropped by your desk to chat and your mind was completely overloaded with your to-do list. This stress response likely hindered your ability to listen and contribute meaningfully to the conversation.

“Basic research has found that high levels of catecholamine release during stress rapidly impair the top-down cognitive functions of the prefrontal cortex,” says one study. Because the prefrontal cortex is responsible for regulating your thoughts, actions and emotions, it’s no wonder you can’t produce a rational response when you’re stressed! 

Mindfulness practices can shift us into an opposite state: the relaxation response. This encourages your body to release chemicals that slow your muscles, increasing blood flow to the brain and inducing the opposite of “fight or flight.” 

To prompt a relaxation response when you’re feeling stressed, consider trying a simple mindfulness exercise like listening to my free Mindfulness of Breath meditation.

Now that you’re in a relaxed and receptive state, you can communicate more mindfully.

2. Practice being an empathetic listener 

Empathy involves understanding the feelings of another and seeing their point of view as valid – even if it differs from your own. Because your views are shaped by personal experiences and beliefs, it can be easy to assume that your perspective is right and theirs is wrong. Empathy will allow you to hold space for their views without necessarily agreeing with them. 

To practice being an empathetic listener, think of someone you frequently disagree with. Before your next interaction with them, think of your similarities rather than your differences. Remember that, just like you, they desire happiness, recognition, and respect. And just like you, they want to be heard, because they believe their perspective is important. This mindset shift can lead to more empathetic listening and make your interactions more pleasant overall.

3. Get curious about what they’re saying 

Do you ever catch yourself finishing someone’s sentences, not in a cute way, but rather in an assumptive way? Sometimes when we’ve known someone for a long time (whether it’s work or personal), we think we know exactly what they’re going to say next, when we really don’t. This can cause us to tune out, interrupt, or form assumptions in our mind that lead to communication breakdowns. 

Curiosity will keep your mind open and willing to be influenced by what you hear, which is essential to having an engaging conversation. Mark Nepo beautifully captured this when he said: “To listen is to lean in softly with the willingness to be changed by what we hear.” This perspective encourages us to approach conversations with openness so we can show up with authentic and thoughtful responses.

Teach your team about mindful communication  

My Mindful Workplace Training is designed to help your team cultivate mindfulness and foster effective communication at work. Explore the training topics that have helped teams like yours to not only survive, but thrive.